Talking shit fail. So funny, watch to the end.
everything that comes around goes around…ouch! lol!
Im so fucking doing this when i get some free time :))
what? this didn’t work? good to know…
If I don’t get some time to write soon, I think I’m gonna fuckin scream!
I need to start writing SOMETHING just so I break the ice of not writing ANYTHING for so long. It’s been like forever.
I’m just going to get some words down on paper, well, on the screen.
I don’t know why it is so hard for me to get things done. I get a few things done, but not enough.
I mean, I do know why…kind of. Not really. I feel like there is this giant wall around me, weighing me down, muting me.
Why the wall is there, what the wall represents, how to get rid of it…I don’t know that yet.
These few words, though, that’s a start.
Is it worth it to be the “bigger” person?
I always try to be.
I always try to take the high road, even at the expense of my own feelings, pride, integrity.
I take the Golden Rule very seriously.
I don’t care if everyone else has forgotten it.
It is etched onto my soul, meshed into every fiber of what makes me myself.
So I give, give, give of myself.
I treat others just like I would like to be treated.
And what has that made me?
A fucking doormat.
I don’t really know what else to say about that right now.
just broke down on the phone to a total stranger because a rude doctor told me that I won’t get better and the physical therapist I spoke to said that I may have a chance. she told me she will have someone call me back and don’t worry.
I know God always listens. See?
I’ve been leaning on Him a lot lately. I’d like to think He doesn’t mind.
I haven’t written in like forever.
So, like, I don’t have seizures or a movement disorder.
I have damage to my vestibular system from an inner ear infection I had 10 years ago.
Apparently, it won’t get much better.
Right now I’m on valium for it, which helps, but not completely, and makes me spacey and sleepy.
I tried to be off the valium two days and fell this morning. Back on the valium I went.
And, on top of this, I finally decided to test Stacy’s blood sugar because I knew she had diabetes, even though she didn’t believe me.
Of course I was right.
First, she was pissed off at me, I mean spitting mad. For days.
I test her sugar every day. The numbers are scary. I got her to apply for Medicaid so she could see a doctor, but I know she is not going to listen to what they say about changing her diet.
I know this is all a test. For some reason, God wants to see how far I will go, or maybe Satan does, to test my faith.
It’s always there. I’m just so upset, though. Sometimes majorly depressed.
I’m not even going to talk about my mother. Why bother? That never changes.
On the up side, I’ve been getting great freelance writing offers! That, actually, is perking me up some.
You know what else? I love my kids. I know that’s random, but I do.
Just wanted to end on a positive note. Oh, and I entered a poetry contest today. Wish me luck!
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